


I'd Wish I'd Said Yes

by CynicalModerate



Series: Effects & Consequences of a New God [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Drama, God-Angel, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 23:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalModerate/pseuds/CynicalModerate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean confronts Castiel for the final time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Wish I'd Said Yes

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is supposed to be ambiguous, just FYI.

_"I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three."_

"You can't do it, Dean."

The Colt shook in his hand despite the hateful silent screams he yelled at himself to keep it steady. But the sight didn't want to remain focused on Castiel, it wanted to be everywhere else but the god-angel. Because Dean didn't want to shoot him.

"I wish I'd said yes," whispered Dean, voice wavering slightly.

The words were so very quiet and yet Castiel seemed to hear them, his head cocking slightly to the side and eyebrow raised in question.

"What?"

Dean cleared his throat and forced the gun steady, aiming straight for Castiel's head. If he was going to do this, it had to be right.

He only had one shot.

"I wish I'd said yes to Michael," he said, louder and firmer.

There was a look a shock that passed over the god-angel's face, quashed quickly under the cold contempt that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence lately. But there was a flicker of hope in the minute break, a chance that maybe the Castiel he knew wasn't really gone.

"You're lying," he said harshly, stepping forward.

They both knew he didn't need to, that all this New God had to do was snap his fingers and Dean would be no more. But this was a showdown between two men who'd become so much more than friends. Before this, they were brothers – and every fight between brothers was up close, was personal, was so much more than just about who was stronger.

Dean shook his head and took a slight step back; knowing that Castiel was goading him to actually pull the trigger.

"No, I'm not," he said through grit teeth. "I wish I'd said yes, if this is what it would've led to. I'd wish I'd said yes, ended everything so I wouldn't have to stand here with a fucking gun pointed at you. So I didn't have to deal with the year of silence, then the year of lies…"

Dean cocked the gun when Castiel took another step.

"…that it would've been Michael that had to kill you instead of me."

Castiel froze, shoulders tense and brilliant blue eyes wide in shock. The two stared at each other in silence before the god-angel regained his composure, face hardening with anger.

"That's the only way you see this ending, isn't it?" he asked, hands curling into fists at his sides. "Death. All you see is death-"

Dean threw his free hand out, gesturing to the world. "That's all you've left behind you, Cas! That's all you've brought to the world! Death, pain, destruction – you've killed entire cities, driven people mad – I've seen the end results of your experiments! They didn't even look human after you'd gotten through with them!"

"Why can't you understand what I am trying to do?" yelled Castiel, the shadow of his wings curling and flapping as thunder resounded. "There are things that have to be done – transformation, reform, rebirth – it is a process that is painful! If I am to fix this world people will die – there is no way around that!"

Dean's finger tightened around the trigger, but he still couldn't pull it.

"I don't know what you are, but you're not the Cas I knew," he said painfully. "Y-you're something else, something evil."

Blue eyes locked with the green, for the first time both seeing the anger and betrayal they felt toward one another.

"You're right," said Castiel darkly, "I'm not the Cas you knew…"

The god-angel launched himself at Dean, colliding with the surprised man. From the sleeve of his coat came a blade, worn hands gripping the handle and preparing to strike.

"I'm  _God_."

There was no other way.

It had to end like this.

A slash, a shot, followed by scarlet blood and white-hot pain, gasps of surprise and agony issuing forth from parted, chapped lips. Then they were together, Castiel on top of Dean and both staring into each other's eyes again, finding now the pain and sadness there. Matching tears welled, the god-angel's own clinging heavily to his eye-lashes before dripping down onto the hunter's face. They both felt pain, both felt the blood gushing between them warm and sticky, both hating that it had come to this.

Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's and let out a shaking sigh, sniffing back the well of emotion he didn't even know he could feel anymore. Dean's mouth worked around words that couldn't seem to come forth.

"You're my brother, Cas," he said finally, his voice soft.

Castiel just continued to stare at Dean, a cold chill preventing him from looking away.

"I wish I'd said yes."

Finally the god-angel swallowed and licked his lips, the words croaking forth from a throat that didn't want to speak.

"I wish you had too."


End file.
